God grant me the serenity
To accept the things
I cannot change
Courage to change
The things I can
And wisdom
To know the difference
This was a saying that hung on the wall in my parents home. Growing up I often looked up at that plaque and eventually I could recite it by heart. This has always been my prayer throughout my life as a young wife, mother, and now not so young grandmother. I learned pretty early on that it is impossible to control everything and there comes a time when you have to relinquish that control. I know there is none more qualified, wise, gentle, or loving than my Heavenly Father. He has always carried me through the good, bad, and the ugly. And yes He was seen it all. And through it all has loved me, cared for me, comforted me, strengthened, and always given me hope.
So after almost 27 years we will be leaving our much loved, and lived in home. So many joyful, difficult, and loving memories with my family. Cuddling on the sofa while my son Samuel read aloud. Jeremy standing up on the front porch and taking his first steps on his first birthday. He was so proud of himself. Melissa dressed as Princess Melini and the boys rescuing her. Our Felice playing dress-up in my room with her face covered in lipstick singing into a hand mirror. Dusty and Rocky playing on their skateboards, running up and down the stairs, the driveway, the sidewalk... Our home is not extravagant, luxurious, or especially beautiful. But our family memories have been created lovingly within these walls, and throughout the yard. It has not only provided safety, and shelter for us, but many who needed a helping hand for a time. I suppose if it could talk it would have asked for a make over long ago. That was never one of our priorities, it was always to build our family. We wanted to make sure our kids would be strong, God fearing, compassionate, honest, and loving towards others. And above all go out in the world and make a difference.
A new season brings new memories, and there is only one family that I want to start this new journey with...my family.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Love is Crazy
It starts with love: "Love can make us do the craziest things and propels us to do what seems impossible which when you look at it can be one in the same"
I am blessed to be encompassed in love, if love is a measure of greatness than I can honestly say that my life is great. There is no greater honor a husband or a child can give, than to love and respect their wife/mother not out of duty but out of choice. It's not an easy thing to do...let down your defenses to another person, but when you do there is a level of freedom that you have. It's hard work building up walls, rebuilding, repairing, adjusting, daily maintenance is required and it becomes a way of life. I was not brought up in a family that showed affection so I had to learn to be affectionate. Sam can testify to that, I found it hard to say I love you and during our first year of marriage I had to write it down, rehearse it, until it became second nature. Weird I know, but that was me, that's what I knew. I learned pretty quickly that I needed to make a change if I wanted my marriage to be successful.
For someone who finds it hard to express themselves music can be a Godsend, because it allows you the freedom to sing what's in your heart. And there's always that one song that grabs you and stirs up what's inside. Music has always played a huge role in my life, it brought me through my tough adolescent years. Being involved in Gospel groups kept me focused, gave me purpose, and put me with the "in" crowd. Too bad it also taught me that you can be severely disillusioned by your "so called friends". But you live and learn and thank God it made me stronger. I never strayed from singing Christian music because it always ministered to me and allowed me to minister to others. So when Sam says he had to put the project in perspective for me, he knew just how to present it so I would understand what was being asked of me. To be perfectly honest you never know what big plans Sam has spinning around in his head. So 29 years of marriage has taught me to go with the flow and humor the guy lol. He has always supported me through each phase of our lives together. And I trust that he has my best interest at heart. So this project has been one more example of his selfless love.
Sam knows me all too well and he created a very comfortable environment for me there at the Studio. I was surrounded by people I knew and loved and although I was being stretched and challenged it couldn't have been in a more nurturing environment. My husband never thinks small he has huge visions. So I'm thankful that when he saw this 4' 11" ninety five pound girl he saw huge potential and here we are, still in love.
<3 Lizzi
I am blessed to be encompassed in love, if love is a measure of greatness than I can honestly say that my life is great. There is no greater honor a husband or a child can give, than to love and respect their wife/mother not out of duty but out of choice. It's not an easy thing to do...let down your defenses to another person, but when you do there is a level of freedom that you have. It's hard work building up walls, rebuilding, repairing, adjusting, daily maintenance is required and it becomes a way of life. I was not brought up in a family that showed affection so I had to learn to be affectionate. Sam can testify to that, I found it hard to say I love you and during our first year of marriage I had to write it down, rehearse it, until it became second nature. Weird I know, but that was me, that's what I knew. I learned pretty quickly that I needed to make a change if I wanted my marriage to be successful.
For someone who finds it hard to express themselves music can be a Godsend, because it allows you the freedom to sing what's in your heart. And there's always that one song that grabs you and stirs up what's inside. Music has always played a huge role in my life, it brought me through my tough adolescent years. Being involved in Gospel groups kept me focused, gave me purpose, and put me with the "in" crowd. Too bad it also taught me that you can be severely disillusioned by your "so called friends". But you live and learn and thank God it made me stronger. I never strayed from singing Christian music because it always ministered to me and allowed me to minister to others. So when Sam says he had to put the project in perspective for me, he knew just how to present it so I would understand what was being asked of me. To be perfectly honest you never know what big plans Sam has spinning around in his head. So 29 years of marriage has taught me to go with the flow and humor the guy lol. He has always supported me through each phase of our lives together. And I trust that he has my best interest at heart. So this project has been one more example of his selfless love.
Sam knows me all too well and he created a very comfortable environment for me there at the Studio. I was surrounded by people I knew and loved and although I was being stretched and challenged it couldn't have been in a more nurturing environment. My husband never thinks small he has huge visions. So I'm thankful that when he saw this 4' 11" ninety five pound girl he saw huge potential and here we are, still in love.
<3 Lizzi
Monday, October 11, 2010
Experiment In Love - a letter from Big Sam
It starts with love. Love can make us do the craziest things or propel us to do what seems impossible which when you look at it can be one in the same.
For those of you that have been reading Lizzi's blog I asked my beautiful wife if I could write in her blog to give you a different perspective on her Lullabies To Love Songs project. She graciously obliged and my hope is that I can adequately convey my thoughts without the fear of sharing my true feelings. Transparency can be a scary thing but here I go.....
Lizzi's project is an experiment in love in more ways than one. When I came to Lizzi about the idea of the project it wasn't a hard sell until she seen the entire scope and timeline of what she was getting into. Her reaction was "you want to do how many songs in how much time and you want me to blog, tweet, Facebook, and tell my story?". After getting over the initial shock I told her that she was going to have her own website, take a photo shoot, broadcast her studio sessions live over the Internet, and have her own YouTube channel. And oh yea you are going to do a music video too! After giving me all the excuses of why she couldn't do what I was proposing for her to do like:
- I haven't recorded in 22 years and you want me to write and record 10 songs in 10 weeks, that's crazy.
- What the heck is a tweet or blog I don't know anything about this Internet stuff.
- People are going to be interested in what I have to say, read my blog or watch me in the studio? Hmmm I don't think so.
- A photo shoot sounds fun but come on.
- I have responsibilities and don't have the time for this project. I have to help over at the restaurant and I watch Rocky too.
And the list goes on......
I don't blame Lizzi for feeling this way because I was asking her to stretch herself and get out of her comfort zone and embark on a journey of rediscovering her talent and love for music. The only way I could put it to her is that we have done things in an unconventional way all our lives and why not add one more crazy thing in our marriage cap. There are so many great things about this project that we have been able to capture on CD, in print, and on film, but my true goal for this project is much more complicated than producing great music or deploying stuff over the internet. In fact what I was after not even Lizzi knew about and she will learn of it for the first time as she reads this blog.
What is invisible comes into view when you go through the process of personal discovery. Personal discovery can be elusive as you look inward and experience things outwardly. Lizzi had to do both as she reached deep inside herself to write what she was feeling and sing with all her heart and soul. When she started her project I could see the fear and apprehension in her eyes. It's hard looking inward to face your dreams and fears, and it's just as hard putting yourself out there to let people into your private space, but she did it. What is this invisible goal that I was after for my wife? Before I say what it is let's look at the songs she wrote and the order in which she wrote them:
Lullaby - a love song to our grandson Rocky
I Am Who I Am - a song about a woman's personal empowerment
Let's Get Away - a song about relationship renewal
Good Times - a song about childhood
Paradise of Life - a song about the importance of living life to the fullest
I Do - a love song written for our daughter who is engaged to be married
It's All About Love - a song about the simple things in life and where it comes from
Intrigue of Night - a song written about love between a man and women
Sometimes - a song of introspection
Your In My Heart - a song about a blessed life
Growing up in the church Lizzi has always sung gospel music and venturing away from this genre was scary for her. So to put her at ease I told her that she was much more than a music style and a singular message because from her Christianity flows the other aspects of who she is as a whole. The songs she wrote is proof that she grasped what I said to her.
As Lizzi progressed through each song and she got used to the internet stuff I could see my wife changing. I could see what was once a courageous thing to do to step out of her comfort zone had now become second nature. Her confidence was growing as she was fulfilling a life long dream to step back into the the studio. When you know someone well you can look into their eyes and know they have changed, it invisible but nevertheless real. My goal through this project was to help my wife get to the point where she could see her true value as a whole. This is a promise that I made to myself back before we were married that I would help her be the best that she could be, I wanted to be her helpmate. I have lived long enough to understand that we will not obtain perfection while on this earth, but in a small way and at a certain point in time we can get a deep sense of satisfaction in trying to obtain perfection. I think Lizzi said it best in her last blog "I want to be the best that I can be for my family, friends, my Creator...I am still a work in progress".
What a privilege in knowing that the invisible can be manifested in music. My wife is blessed and I am blessed because of her.
Big Sam
For those of you that have been reading Lizzi's blog I asked my beautiful wife if I could write in her blog to give you a different perspective on her Lullabies To Love Songs project. She graciously obliged and my hope is that I can adequately convey my thoughts without the fear of sharing my true feelings. Transparency can be a scary thing but here I go.....
Lizzi's project is an experiment in love in more ways than one. When I came to Lizzi about the idea of the project it wasn't a hard sell until she seen the entire scope and timeline of what she was getting into. Her reaction was "you want to do how many songs in how much time and you want me to blog, tweet, Facebook, and tell my story?". After getting over the initial shock I told her that she was going to have her own website, take a photo shoot, broadcast her studio sessions live over the Internet, and have her own YouTube channel. And oh yea you are going to do a music video too! After giving me all the excuses of why she couldn't do what I was proposing for her to do like:
- I haven't recorded in 22 years and you want me to write and record 10 songs in 10 weeks, that's crazy.
- What the heck is a tweet or blog I don't know anything about this Internet stuff.
- People are going to be interested in what I have to say, read my blog or watch me in the studio? Hmmm I don't think so.
- A photo shoot sounds fun but come on.
- I have responsibilities and don't have the time for this project. I have to help over at the restaurant and I watch Rocky too.
And the list goes on......
I don't blame Lizzi for feeling this way because I was asking her to stretch herself and get out of her comfort zone and embark on a journey of rediscovering her talent and love for music. The only way I could put it to her is that we have done things in an unconventional way all our lives and why not add one more crazy thing in our marriage cap. There are so many great things about this project that we have been able to capture on CD, in print, and on film, but my true goal for this project is much more complicated than producing great music or deploying stuff over the internet. In fact what I was after not even Lizzi knew about and she will learn of it for the first time as she reads this blog.
What is invisible comes into view when you go through the process of personal discovery. Personal discovery can be elusive as you look inward and experience things outwardly. Lizzi had to do both as she reached deep inside herself to write what she was feeling and sing with all her heart and soul. When she started her project I could see the fear and apprehension in her eyes. It's hard looking inward to face your dreams and fears, and it's just as hard putting yourself out there to let people into your private space, but she did it. What is this invisible goal that I was after for my wife? Before I say what it is let's look at the songs she wrote and the order in which she wrote them:
Lullaby - a love song to our grandson Rocky
I Am Who I Am - a song about a woman's personal empowerment
Let's Get Away - a song about relationship renewal
Good Times - a song about childhood
Paradise of Life - a song about the importance of living life to the fullest
I Do - a love song written for our daughter who is engaged to be married
It's All About Love - a song about the simple things in life and where it comes from
Intrigue of Night - a song written about love between a man and women
Sometimes - a song of introspection
Your In My Heart - a song about a blessed life
Growing up in the church Lizzi has always sung gospel music and venturing away from this genre was scary for her. So to put her at ease I told her that she was much more than a music style and a singular message because from her Christianity flows the other aspects of who she is as a whole. The songs she wrote is proof that she grasped what I said to her.
As Lizzi progressed through each song and she got used to the internet stuff I could see my wife changing. I could see what was once a courageous thing to do to step out of her comfort zone had now become second nature. Her confidence was growing as she was fulfilling a life long dream to step back into the the studio. When you know someone well you can look into their eyes and know they have changed, it invisible but nevertheless real. My goal through this project was to help my wife get to the point where she could see her true value as a whole. This is a promise that I made to myself back before we were married that I would help her be the best that she could be, I wanted to be her helpmate. I have lived long enough to understand that we will not obtain perfection while on this earth, but in a small way and at a certain point in time we can get a deep sense of satisfaction in trying to obtain perfection. I think Lizzi said it best in her last blog "I want to be the best that I can be for my family, friends, my Creator...I am still a work in progress".
What a privilege in knowing that the invisible can be manifested in music. My wife is blessed and I am blessed because of her.
Big Sam
Friday, October 8, 2010
Still a Work in Progress
Life never grows stagnant, not for me anyways. We just returned from a wonderful trip to Disneyland. Although it rained the whole time we quickly found the nearest Target, bought some one dollar gloves, beanies, and rain panchos. Talk about powering through, the kids were as excited as with any other adventure but today of all days we were in "The Happiest Place on Earth". We all had blue panchos so we were "team blue." I've got to say that the panchos were the best investment of the day. Kinda funny to see the pics, looks like we all have our Snuggies on. lol
The lines went pretty quickly so the kids ran around getting on rides while Sam & I moseyed along with Dusty and Rocky.
Nothing like seeing Disneyland through the eyes of little ones. Dusty absolutely loves Michael Jackson, I mean he watches his music videos everyday, practices his dance moves, dresses like him (skinny jeans only) sequined gloves, hat, blazer jacket, cut away white t- shirt, and we're still on the hunt for penny loafers. So we knew he would absolutely love Captain EO, our little angel Rocky fell asleep through it, but Dusty was all eyes and ears. He loved it! What an amazing artist, it was weird to see M.J. so young and full of life I bet he never would have believed that 24 years later he would be gone had someone told him. He was on top of the world, I'm still amazed at how life really just goes on. Time nor space skips a beat, I learned this lesson when I was much younger 18 years old to be exact. I very suddenly lost my father on a Sunday morning right before Thanksgiving to a heart attack. Never the chance to say good bye, or that I loved him. Of course he knew, but I learned to never take your loved ones for granted. I think that's what fueled my passion for life, I knew all too quickly life could change. God knew how much I could handle and for that reason I believe He placed Sam in my life. He's always been the greatest support and stability in my life. When you learn to value your gifts than everything else is gravy. I would be lying if I said I have never faced difficult times, it's because of all the bad times that I can glory in the good times. Struggle either makes us stronger or more vulnerable. We have to equip our children to be able to deal with adversity in a positive way. Learning...always taking steps forward to better ourselves, I'm still learning there are lessons around every corner. Surround yourself with people who will challenge and encourage you and most importantly hold you accountable.
For the most part my life has returned to "normal" doing all the things a Mom does. I'm about ready to get some Pumpkin Pie goin' one of my favorite things about Fall. The music, recording, writing, rehearsing, rushing from point A to point B is somewhat calmer. But my heart is changed, I feel a sense of satisfaction, pride, in accomplishing one of my dreams. God has surrounded me with people of a like mind who love music, and were able to help me through the whole process. We can only do what we do, the key is to do it well. I want to be the best that I can be for my family, friends, my Creator...I am still a work in progress.
<3 Lizzi
The lines went pretty quickly so the kids ran around getting on rides while Sam & I moseyed along with Dusty and Rocky.
Nothing like seeing Disneyland through the eyes of little ones. Dusty absolutely loves Michael Jackson, I mean he watches his music videos everyday, practices his dance moves, dresses like him (skinny jeans only) sequined gloves, hat, blazer jacket, cut away white t- shirt, and we're still on the hunt for penny loafers. So we knew he would absolutely love Captain EO, our little angel Rocky fell asleep through it, but Dusty was all eyes and ears. He loved it! What an amazing artist, it was weird to see M.J. so young and full of life I bet he never would have believed that 24 years later he would be gone had someone told him. He was on top of the world, I'm still amazed at how life really just goes on. Time nor space skips a beat, I learned this lesson when I was much younger 18 years old to be exact. I very suddenly lost my father on a Sunday morning right before Thanksgiving to a heart attack. Never the chance to say good bye, or that I loved him. Of course he knew, but I learned to never take your loved ones for granted. I think that's what fueled my passion for life, I knew all too quickly life could change. God knew how much I could handle and for that reason I believe He placed Sam in my life. He's always been the greatest support and stability in my life. When you learn to value your gifts than everything else is gravy. I would be lying if I said I have never faced difficult times, it's because of all the bad times that I can glory in the good times. Struggle either makes us stronger or more vulnerable. We have to equip our children to be able to deal with adversity in a positive way. Learning...always taking steps forward to better ourselves, I'm still learning there are lessons around every corner. Surround yourself with people who will challenge and encourage you and most importantly hold you accountable.
For the most part my life has returned to "normal" doing all the things a Mom does. I'm about ready to get some Pumpkin Pie goin' one of my favorite things about Fall. The music, recording, writing, rehearsing, rushing from point A to point B is somewhat calmer. But my heart is changed, I feel a sense of satisfaction, pride, in accomplishing one of my dreams. God has surrounded me with people of a like mind who love music, and were able to help me through the whole process. We can only do what we do, the key is to do it well. I want to be the best that I can be for my family, friends, my Creator...I am still a work in progress.
<3 Lizzi
Friday, October 1, 2010
Wind Down
Can't believe it my time at the Studio is over. I sang my last song today. What an amazing song it is. John sang some harmonies and a few add libs which added so much to the song. I just love the sound and texture of his voice and it added a completely different feel to the song. We have a really strong blend of songs but I think the first is as strong as the last.
We will be doing a music video to one of the songs, but we're still deciding which to use, the song Good Times or Love Song. I guess we'll take a vote with the family. We have a very good video crew so I hear little details of the format and it sounds great.
We still need to record a couple of live drum tracks on two of the songs. So hopefully we can get my son Jimmy in there soon to complete those two songs. We also are waiting to schedule in
Yung Rizzo to do a rap on one of the songs. Then Big Sam will work his magic on the mixes and those songs can be sent for mastering. The whole experience has been amazing and I can't wait to share it with you!
<3 Lizzi
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
We will be doing a music video to one of the songs, but we're still deciding which to use, the song Good Times or Love Song. I guess we'll take a vote with the family. We have a very good video crew so I hear little details of the format and it sounds great.
We still need to record a couple of live drum tracks on two of the songs. So hopefully we can get my son Jimmy in there soon to complete those two songs. We also are waiting to schedule in
Yung Rizzo to do a rap on one of the songs. Then Big Sam will work his magic on the mixes and those songs can be sent for mastering. The whole experience has been amazing and I can't wait to share it with you!
<3 Lizzi
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Day 31 in the Studio
It's hard to believe my project is winding down. But I guess all good things must come to an end. My time with the Iklectix has been so memorable, although the guys are much younger than me I have learned so much from them. For instance their approach to music is so uninhibited, it's not just about writing a song but words other people can relate to. Pure and simple melodies are best so others can sing along. And always approach a song with a relaxed and confident nature.
As always some things are easier said than done, and his project was no exception. We had technical difficulties with the camera system, live streaming, and scheduling. But we knew it was an aggressive schedule and we made it our goal to work within the time constraints. All things considered my time with the boys was always so pleasant, we always had cause to laugh and have fun while we worked. It really amazed me how the guys never skipped a beat, whether they were recording tracks or creating, even when people came by to say hello. Seems like a perfect marriage of musical minds coming together and working in unison with ease and precision. I hope I won't embarrass them by complimenting them. But the joy is equal to the sadness that I feel ending our studio time together. Joy in the fact that I will have something tangible to offer the listeners and sadness that I will no longer have cause to walk up into the studio without interrupting a session. What an incredible and timeless gift they have given me that I will cherish. I know just as I gave my heart and soul to the project much of theirs is included also. I think everything they work on bears their stamp on the artist and the music they produce for them. Excited to see what will come down the pike for them.
Today I sang the lead vocal to our last song on the recording titled "Love Song" as I mentioned it is a happy, thought provoking, and reflective song that gives praise for all that we have and don't have. Material things are great but with it comes great responsibility and accountability. I want to know that I did what I was supposed to do in this life. Because when it's all said and done, all that is left is our legacy, for me my greatest accomplishment will always be my children and the truths that we instilled in them. Live life, Love life, and be grateful for all that you have!
I may be able to sing the lead vocal on song number nine tomorrow. If so that will complete our 10 songs for the L2L Project. We are thinking of doing one more song, more for sentimental reasons. It's a song my Mama used to sing to my babies when they were little. I think it would mean a lot to her and I know it would mean a lot to my children. So until tomorrow...
<3 Lizzi
As always some things are easier said than done, and his project was no exception. We had technical difficulties with the camera system, live streaming, and scheduling. But we knew it was an aggressive schedule and we made it our goal to work within the time constraints. All things considered my time with the boys was always so pleasant, we always had cause to laugh and have fun while we worked. It really amazed me how the guys never skipped a beat, whether they were recording tracks or creating, even when people came by to say hello. Seems like a perfect marriage of musical minds coming together and working in unison with ease and precision. I hope I won't embarrass them by complimenting them. But the joy is equal to the sadness that I feel ending our studio time together. Joy in the fact that I will have something tangible to offer the listeners and sadness that I will no longer have cause to walk up into the studio without interrupting a session. What an incredible and timeless gift they have given me that I will cherish. I know just as I gave my heart and soul to the project much of theirs is included also. I think everything they work on bears their stamp on the artist and the music they produce for them. Excited to see what will come down the pike for them.
Today I sang the lead vocal to our last song on the recording titled "Love Song" as I mentioned it is a happy, thought provoking, and reflective song that gives praise for all that we have and don't have. Material things are great but with it comes great responsibility and accountability. I want to know that I did what I was supposed to do in this life. Because when it's all said and done, all that is left is our legacy, for me my greatest accomplishment will always be my children and the truths that we instilled in them. Live life, Love life, and be grateful for all that you have!
I may be able to sing the lead vocal on song number nine tomorrow. If so that will complete our 10 songs for the L2L Project. We are thinking of doing one more song, more for sentimental reasons. It's a song my Mama used to sing to my babies when they were little. I think it would mean a lot to her and I know it would mean a lot to my children. So until tomorrow...
<3 Lizzi
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Day 30 in the Studio
We finally worked out a temporary childcare situation for the baby (definitely not easy) now we can all be in the Studio together and finish the project strong. Amazingly enough our last song is nearly finished. John was on a writing frenzy today even though he wasn't feeling well. It certainly didn't douse out his inspiration because he wrote the second verse of the song while Sammy was laying down guitar and bass tracks. It's a beautiful song that will bring the project full circle.
The emphasis of the recording has always been the concept of love, life, and relationships and of course the giver of all things, God. I am excited that the project is almost complete and also a little sad that my studio time with the guys is ending. It has been such a rich and fulfilling experience to be surrounded by their musical genius and experience. I have been around musicians for many years and it's always a pleasure when you meet people that have a pure heart and a passion for what they do. I can honestly say that the Iklectix are just that. So now we have our "Bookends" for the project. Now my job is to practice, practice, practice, so I can go in and sing the lead vocal. Song number nine still needs some lyrics, but I'm confident that will be completed tomorrow. This will give us a total of ten songs, which is what the goal was. I'm very happy and proud of what we have been able to accomplish in a relatively short amount of time.
<3 Lizzi
The emphasis of the recording has always been the concept of love, life, and relationships and of course the giver of all things, God. I am excited that the project is almost complete and also a little sad that my studio time with the guys is ending. It has been such a rich and fulfilling experience to be surrounded by their musical genius and experience. I have been around musicians for many years and it's always a pleasure when you meet people that have a pure heart and a passion for what they do. I can honestly say that the Iklectix are just that. So now we have our "Bookends" for the project. Now my job is to practice, practice, practice, so I can go in and sing the lead vocal. Song number nine still needs some lyrics, but I'm confident that will be completed tomorrow. This will give us a total of ten songs, which is what the goal was. I'm very happy and proud of what we have been able to accomplish in a relatively short amount of time.
<3 Lizzi
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