Experiment In Love - a letter from Big Sam

It starts with love. Love can make us do the craziest things or propel us to do what seems impossible which when you look at it can be one in the same.

For those of you that have been reading Lizzi's blog I asked my beautiful wife if I could write in her blog to give you a different perspective on her Lullabies To Love Songs project. She graciously obliged and my hope is that I can adequately convey my thoughts without the fear of sharing my true feelings. Transparency can be a scary thing but here I go.....

Lizzi's project is an experiment in love in more ways than one. When I came to Lizzi about the idea of the project it wasn't a hard sell until she seen the entire scope and timeline of what she was getting into. Her reaction was "you want to do how many songs in how much time and you want me to blog, tweet, Facebook, and tell my story?". After getting over the initial shock I told her that she was going to have her own website, take a photo shoot, broadcast her studio sessions live over the Internet, and have her own YouTube channel. And oh yea you are going to do a music video too! After giving me all the excuses of why she couldn't do what I was proposing for her to do like:

- I haven't recorded in 22 years and you want me to write and record 10 songs in 10 weeks, that's crazy.

- What the heck is a tweet or blog I don't know anything about this Internet stuff.

- People are going to be interested in what I have to say, read my blog or watch me in the studio? Hmmm I don't think so.

- A photo shoot sounds fun but come on.

- I have responsibilities and don't have the time for this project. I have to help over at the restaurant and I watch Rocky too.

And the list goes on......

I don't blame Lizzi for feeling this way because I was asking her to stretch herself and get out of her comfort zone and embark on a journey of rediscovering her talent and love for music. The only way I could put it to her is that we have done things in an unconventional way all our lives and why not add one more crazy thing in our marriage cap. There are so many great things about this project that we have been able to capture on CD, in print, and on film, but my true goal for this project is much more complicated than producing great music or deploying stuff over the internet. In fact what I was after not even Lizzi knew about and she will learn of it for the first time as she reads this blog.

What is invisible comes into view when you go through the process of personal discovery. Personal discovery can be elusive as you look inward and experience things outwardly. Lizzi had to do both as she reached deep inside herself to write what she was feeling and sing with all her heart and soul. When she started her project I could see the fear and apprehension in her eyes. It's hard looking inward to face your dreams and fears, and it's just as hard putting yourself out there to let people into your private space, but she did it. What is this invisible goal that I was after for my wife? Before I say what it is let's look at the songs she wrote and the order in which she wrote them:

Lullaby - a love song to our grandson Rocky
I Am Who I Am - a song about a woman's personal empowerment
Let's Get Away - a song about relationship renewal
Good Times - a song about childhood
Paradise of Life - a song about the importance of living life to the fullest
I Do - a love song written for our daughter who is engaged to be married
It's All About Love - a song about the simple things in life and where it comes from
Intrigue of Night - a song written about love between a man and women
Sometimes - a song of introspection
Your In My Heart - a song about a blessed life

Growing up in the church Lizzi has always sung gospel music and venturing away from this genre was scary for her. So to put her at ease I told her that she was much more than a music style and a singular message because from her Christianity flows the other aspects of who she is as a whole. The songs she wrote is proof that she grasped what I said to her.

As Lizzi progressed through each song and she got used to the internet stuff I could see my wife changing. I could see what was once a courageous thing to do to step out of her comfort zone had now become second nature. Her confidence was growing as she was fulfilling a life long dream to step back into the the studio. When you know someone well you can look into their eyes and know they have changed, it invisible but nevertheless real. My goal through this project was to help my wife get to the point where she could see her true value as a whole. This is a promise that I made to myself back before we were married that I would help her be the best that she could be, I wanted to be her helpmate. I have lived long enough to understand that we will not obtain perfection while on this earth, but in a small way and at a certain point in time we can get a deep sense of satisfaction in trying to obtain perfection. I think Lizzi said it best in her last blog "I want to be the best that I can be for my family, friends, my Creator...I am still a work in progress".

What a privilege in knowing that the invisible can be manifested in music. My wife is blessed and I am blessed because of her.

Big Sam