Thursday, October 21, 2010

Love is Crazy

It starts with love: "Love can make us do the craziest things and propels us to do what seems impossible which when you look at it can be one in the same"

I am blessed to be encompassed in love, if love is a measure of greatness than I can honestly say that my life is great. There is no greater honor a husband or a child can give, than to love and respect their wife/mother not out of duty but out of choice. It's not an easy thing to do...let down your defenses to another person, but when you do there is a level of freedom that you have. It's hard work building up walls, rebuilding, repairing, adjusting, daily maintenance is required and it becomes a way of life. I was not brought up in a family that showed affection so I had to learn to be affectionate. Sam can testify to that, I found it hard to say I love you and during our first year of marriage I had to write it down, rehearse it, until it became second nature. Weird I know, but that was me, that's what I knew. I learned pretty quickly that I needed to make a change if I wanted my marriage to be successful.

For someone who finds it hard to express themselves music can be a Godsend, because it allows you the freedom to sing what's in your heart. And there's always that one song that grabs you and stirs up what's inside. Music has always played a huge role in my life, it brought me through my tough adolescent years. Being involved in Gospel groups kept me focused, gave me purpose, and put me with the "in" crowd. Too bad it also taught me that you can be severely disillusioned by your "so called friends". But you live and learn and thank God it made me stronger. I never strayed from singing Christian music because it always ministered to me and allowed me to minister to others. So when Sam says he had to put the project in perspective for me, he knew just how to present it so I would understand what was being asked of me. To be perfectly honest you never know what big plans Sam has spinning around in his head. So 29 years of marriage has taught me to go with the flow and humor the guy lol. He has always supported me through each phase of our lives together. And I trust that he has my best interest at heart. So this project has been one more example of his selfless love.

Sam knows me all too well and he created a very comfortable environment for me there at the Studio. I was surrounded by people I knew and loved and although I was being stretched and challenged it couldn't have been in a more nurturing environment. My husband never thinks small he has huge visions. So I'm thankful that when he saw this 4' 11" ninety five pound girl he saw huge potential and here we are, still in love.

<3 Lizzi

Monday, October 11, 2010

Experiment In Love - a letter from Big Sam

It starts with love. Love can make us do the craziest things or propel us to do what seems impossible which when you look at it can be one in the same.

For those of you that have been reading Lizzi's blog I asked my beautiful wife if I could write in her blog to give you a different perspective on her Lullabies To Love Songs project. She graciously obliged and my hope is that I can adequately convey my thoughts without the fear of sharing my true feelings. Transparency can be a scary thing but here I go.....

Lizzi's project is an experiment in love in more ways than one. When I came to Lizzi about the idea of the project it wasn't a hard sell until she seen the entire scope and timeline of what she was getting into. Her reaction was "you want to do how many songs in how much time and you want me to blog, tweet, Facebook, and tell my story?". After getting over the initial shock I told her that she was going to have her own website, take a photo shoot, broadcast her studio sessions live over the Internet, and have her own YouTube channel. And oh yea you are going to do a music video too! After giving me all the excuses of why she couldn't do what I was proposing for her to do like:

- I haven't recorded in 22 years and you want me to write and record 10 songs in 10 weeks, that's crazy.

- What the heck is a tweet or blog I don't know anything about this Internet stuff.

- People are going to be interested in what I have to say, read my blog or watch me in the studio? Hmmm I don't think so.

- A photo shoot sounds fun but come on.

- I have responsibilities and don't have the time for this project. I have to help over at the restaurant and I watch Rocky too.

And the list goes on......

I don't blame Lizzi for feeling this way because I was asking her to stretch herself and get out of her comfort zone and embark on a journey of rediscovering her talent and love for music. The only way I could put it to her is that we have done things in an unconventional way all our lives and why not add one more crazy thing in our marriage cap. There are so many great things about this project that we have been able to capture on CD, in print, and on film, but my true goal for this project is much more complicated than producing great music or deploying stuff over the internet. In fact what I was after not even Lizzi knew about and she will learn of it for the first time as she reads this blog.

What is invisible comes into view when you go through the process of personal discovery. Personal discovery can be elusive as you look inward and experience things outwardly. Lizzi had to do both as she reached deep inside herself to write what she was feeling and sing with all her heart and soul. When she started her project I could see the fear and apprehension in her eyes. It's hard looking inward to face your dreams and fears, and it's just as hard putting yourself out there to let people into your private space, but she did it. What is this invisible goal that I was after for my wife? Before I say what it is let's look at the songs she wrote and the order in which she wrote them:

Lullaby - a love song to our grandson Rocky
I Am Who I Am - a song about a woman's personal empowerment
Let's Get Away - a song about relationship renewal
Good Times - a song about childhood
Paradise of Life - a song about the importance of living life to the fullest
I Do - a love song written for our daughter who is engaged to be married
It's All About Love - a song about the simple things in life and where it comes from
Intrigue of Night - a song written about love between a man and women
Sometimes - a song of introspection
Your In My Heart - a song about a blessed life

Growing up in the church Lizzi has always sung gospel music and venturing away from this genre was scary for her. So to put her at ease I told her that she was much more than a music style and a singular message because from her Christianity flows the other aspects of who she is as a whole. The songs she wrote is proof that she grasped what I said to her.

As Lizzi progressed through each song and she got used to the internet stuff I could see my wife changing. I could see what was once a courageous thing to do to step out of her comfort zone had now become second nature. Her confidence was growing as she was fulfilling a life long dream to step back into the the studio. When you know someone well you can look into their eyes and know they have changed, it invisible but nevertheless real. My goal through this project was to help my wife get to the point where she could see her true value as a whole. This is a promise that I made to myself back before we were married that I would help her be the best that she could be, I wanted to be her helpmate. I have lived long enough to understand that we will not obtain perfection while on this earth, but in a small way and at a certain point in time we can get a deep sense of satisfaction in trying to obtain perfection. I think Lizzi said it best in her last blog "I want to be the best that I can be for my family, friends, my Creator...I am still a work in progress".

What a privilege in knowing that the invisible can be manifested in music. My wife is blessed and I am blessed because of her.

Big Sam






Friday, October 8, 2010

Still a Work in Progress

Life never grows stagnant, not for me anyways. We just returned from a wonderful trip to Disneyland. Although it rained the whole time we quickly found the nearest Target, bought some one dollar gloves, beanies, and rain panchos. Talk about powering through, the kids were as excited as with any other adventure but today of all days we were in "The Happiest Place on Earth". We all had blue panchos so we were "team blue." I've got to say that the panchos were the best investment of the day. Kinda funny to see the pics, looks like we all have our Snuggies on. lol

The lines went pretty quickly so the kids ran around getting on rides while Sam & I moseyed along with Dusty and Rocky.
Nothing like seeing Disneyland through the eyes of little ones. Dusty absolutely loves Michael Jackson, I mean he watches his music videos everyday, practices his dance moves, dresses like him (skinny jeans only) sequined gloves, hat, blazer jacket, cut away white t- shirt, and we're still on the hunt for penny loafers. So we knew he would absolutely love Captain EO, our little angel Rocky fell asleep through it, but Dusty was all eyes and ears. He loved it! What an amazing artist, it was weird to see M.J. so young and full of life I bet he never would have believed that 24 years later he would be gone had someone told him. He was on top of the world, I'm still amazed at how life really just goes on. Time nor space skips a beat, I learned this lesson when I was much younger 18 years old to be exact. I very suddenly lost my father on a Sunday morning right before Thanksgiving to a heart attack. Never the chance to say good bye, or that I loved him. Of course he knew, but I learned to never take your loved ones for granted. I think that's what fueled my passion for life, I knew all too quickly life could change. God knew how much I could handle and for that reason I believe He placed Sam in my life. He's always been the greatest support and stability in my life. When you learn to value your gifts than everything else is gravy. I would be lying if I said I have never faced difficult times, it's because of all the bad times that I can glory in the good times. Struggle either makes us stronger or more vulnerable. We have to equip our children to be able to deal with adversity in a positive way. Learning...always taking steps forward to better ourselves, I'm still learning there are lessons around every corner. Surround yourself with people who will challenge and encourage you and most importantly hold you accountable.

For the most part my life has returned to "normal" doing all the things a Mom does. I'm about ready to get some Pumpkin Pie goin' one of my favorite things about Fall. The music, recording, writing, rehearsing, rushing from point A to point B is somewhat calmer. But my heart is changed, I feel a sense of satisfaction, pride, in accomplishing one of my dreams. God has surrounded me with people of a like mind who love music, and were able to help me through the whole process. We can only do what we do, the key is to do it well. I want to be the best that I can be for my family, friends, my Creator...I am still a work in progress.

<3 Lizzi

Friday, October 1, 2010

Wind Down

Can't believe it my time at the Studio is over. I sang my last song today. What an amazing song it is. John sang some harmonies and a few add libs which added so much to the song. I just love the sound and texture of his voice and it added a completely different feel to the song. We have a really strong blend of songs but I think the first is as strong as the last.

We will be doing a music video to one of the songs, but we're still deciding which to use, the song Good Times or Love Song. I guess we'll take a vote with the family. We have a very good video crew so I hear little details of the format and it sounds great.

We still need to record a couple of live drum tracks on two of the songs. So hopefully we can get my son Jimmy in there soon to complete those two songs. We also are waiting to schedule in
Yung Rizzo to do a rap on one of the songs. Then Big Sam will work his magic on the mixes and those songs can be sent for mastering. The whole experience has been amazing and I can't wait to share it with you!

<3 Lizzi




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